It's that one hour in the late afternoon, the last one before Chris will walk through the door from work. It's dinner prep time. This is what it looked like tonight:- While making pizza crust, feed the kids a little "pre-dinner" to keep them occupied and hopefully happy as they realize they are getting hungry for dinner.
- Help Thomas go potty on the toilet (2 times)
- Wash hands (2 times)
- Work on pizza sauce and question which spices I have/have not added at this point
- Chase Evy down to change a messy diaper that's been waiting
- Wash hands
- Discover that Thomas has "helped" reshape the pizza dough. I reshape dough again.
- Finally have pizza prepared and in oven. Start to prepare salad and fruit and set the table.
- Kids keep bringing toys into the kitchen. I keep redirecting them to the family room.
- Evy has been repeatedly letting out her shrill scream. This means that Thomas is (a) taking her toy, (b) laying on, pulling at, or hitting her, or (c) smothering her with LOTS of loves.
- It was C this time. I break up the extensive hugging.
- Now I have Evy's attention. It is time to take the pizza out of the oven and she follows me. Doing my very best box-out position to keep the oven out of her reach and dramatically explaining, "Hot, hot, hot! No, no!" Successful and safe removal of one pizza. Now bake small 2nd pizza.
- Sweep kitchen floor, which includes remnants of breakfast, lunch, pre-dinner, and whatever else. Evy swoops into the pile and pops a tasty treat into her mouth before I can do a thing. Lovely.
- Tommy needs help at the potty again.
- Chris gets home! YAY! We are all happy.
- Time to take out second pizza. Grateful Evy is secure in her highchair and happy with a bottle.
- Pray and eat. Thomas only eats the pepperonis off his pizza and fruit. Evy has no pizza, just fruit. Thomas cries about Chris touching his head. I am just happy that no one is sitting on me or touching me.
Tonight I am thanking God for my hours. There are times when I feel frustrated, like I am running on fumes...and losing my mind. :) Thankfully, "Men are that they might have joy." (2 Nephi 2:25) I do find joy and fulfillment in my job and purpose and identity as a mother to my children and as a daughter of God. Sometimes, I have to pause, recollect, and search for it, hard. But it's always there. The joy that comes from knowing I'm trying to be better, to be obedient, to do good, or simply just trying at all. Sometimes (often) I fall short. I am grateful for Christ's atonement. That I can repent and try again. And, hopefully, my kids will turn out alright, while I'm learning and hopefully becoming the mom that they need.
3 comments:
Good post, Nicole. I can totally identify with the relief that comes later in the day when nobody is touching you or sitting on you, and I can totally picture the wide stance you take while opening the oven and trying to simultaneously watch kids with those eyes we moms have in the back of your head (because I do that when I bake pizza, too).
I've found that being a mom to my four kids is tricky, but I look back on those days when I only had one or two at home and I'm pretty sure they were harder. You are in the thick of it right now, and it is a tough place to be in -- but you are doing awesome, Nicole! Thanks for sharing your hope and perspective.
Thanks for sharing. I can totally relate! Also, I know you are an awesome Mom. I totally feel the same though. Some days you just have to survive and hope they turn out alright. Being a mom is wonderful but exhausting. Mmm.... And pizza sounds delicious!
Love this so much!
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